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Pretty H8 Machines improve to 2-0 on the season

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The Pretty H8 Machines battled against the Shotgun Shirleys in the second bout of the Desert Dolls Roller Derby season. The Shirleys quickly realized it was not their rodeo when the H8 Machines cranked out another victory by annihilating the Shirleys 204-94.

The H8 Machines scored first when Missy Faytal claimed lead jammer and racked up nine points during the first jam and it was all downhill from their. It was a solid start for newly named teamed Captain, Faytal. Her leadership did not go unnoticed as she used her charisma to rally up the H8 fans and used her talent to dominate as one of the main jammer on the H8 Machines team. It was her brutal blocks and consistent jams as captain that earned her the title of co-MVP alongside teammate Twisted Burdy. Burdy flew through the pack all night, and cleaned up the bout with blocks that prohibited any chance of the Shotgun Shirleys breaking triple digits on the board.

The first half of the bout was a vicious run, which proved that no one was safe, not even the derby photographer. H8 Machines’ Bullie Holiday let no hit go un-slammed. Holiday knocked girls completely out of bounds and grinned as she did it.

No serious injuries occurred within the first half, but the announcer “That Guy” reminded us that these girls play rough. “It’s like football on skates with fishnets,” Guy said. By the end of the first half the H8 Machines had a heavy 93-43 lead over the Shirleys, but neither team had hit triple digits.

It did not take long for the H8 Machines to pass the 100 point mark. The H8 Machines eventually gained a 100-point lead over the Shirleys, and they showed no sign of letting up. Co-captain for the Shirleys, Tangy Skittles, took a hard hit late into the second half and was escorted off the rink by the volunteer EMTs on call. The Shirleys captain, Mt. Saint Melons, was on injured reserve for the evening. With neither captain nor co-captain skating the final 5 minutes, the Shirleys were defeated by a 110 spread.

The Desert Dolls Roller Derby will compete in an All Star bout in Flagstaff on October 20. The next official bout at Castle Sports Club is November 3 between the Cosmic Killas and Joon Cleavers. WCSN’s next broadcast will be on January 12. For more information, visit the Desert Dolls Roller Derby Website.

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